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December 6, 2021
So, I am clearing out boxes from my Mom's garage and I find one with a number of bottles of old liquor.
Well one bottle looks older than the others, so I dust it off and take a closer look.
It is a bottle of Commandaria.
Commandaria is an amber-colored sweet dessert wine made in the Commandaria region of Cyprus.
I was born in Cyprus in 1958 so this bottle might be that old.
It might also be newer because Commandaria is still sold today but based on the tag line on the label - "The dessert wine of the Crusaders" - I am guessing it is pretty old...
I can just imagine the marketing meeting where they introduced that tag line.
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Scene: New York City, 1953, 20th floor Conference Room in mid-town Manhattan.
Boss: Gentlemen, it is my pleasure to introduce the Stylianides brothers - who have traveled all the way from Cyprus to hear our ideas for marketing their dessert wine.
Murray, you are the lead on this account, and I understand you've done some research about this product so please share what you have learned.
Murray: Thanks Boss. I learned that Commandaria has been around for a very long time and that some consider it the oldest wine in the world.
I also learned that it was popular during the crusades with the Crusaders.
Boss: That's great research Murray. So, what have we come up with on the creative side?
Murray: Well, I tried to put myself in the place of the Crusaders.
I thought to myself - what might I like to do after a full day of rampaging and murdering entire populations - just because they had differing religious views.
Then it hit me.
Drink a glass of Commandaria after dinner.
That's when I came up with it - Commandaria - "The dessert wine of the Crusaders"
Boss: Thanks Murray. I like it - it's pithy. It is also historic. It's historically pithy.
Well, based on their reaction, it looks like the Stylianides brothers are onboard with this one as well.
Boss (after meeting ends - pulls Murray aside): Great job Murray - now can you come with something to help us move those warehouses full of 8-year old Schnapps...
